Sway This Way: How Mothers Make It Work Across Generations
Joann Lublin is a Pulitzer-Prize winning journalist and author of Power Moms: How Executive Mothers Navigate Work and Life.
It’s about the sway, not just the balance.
Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author Joann Lublin says that for mothers employed outside the home, balance is not the goal, but swaying is.
“Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author @JoannLublin says that for mothers employed outside the home, balance is not the goal, but swaying is. #PowerMoms #worklifebalance”
“The concept is when we need to be 110% present for work, we give, but when life intrudes, we sway out of work mode into life mode and we don’t give ourselves a hard time,” says Lublin, former management news editor at the Wall Street Journal, and author of Power Moms: How Executive Mothers Navigate Work and Life.
Speaking to a virtual audience at a Northwestern University alumni event recently, Lublin addressed the different approaches of two generations of working parents—half of them older Boomer mothers, and the other half Millennials and GenXers.
The pandemic exacerbated the demands of work and home, particularly when work became remote for millions of employees.
“The #pandemic exacerbated the demands of work and home, particularly when work became remote for millions of employees. #WFH”
“How could you go back and forth from work mode to life mode?” Lublin asks, particularly because both were happening in the same space at the same time.
“The biggest way to reduce stress levels as parents is to rethink gendered role expectations, “ Lublin says, who interviewed more than 80 mothers for the book.
“Do take time off for yourself. Self-care is not selfish care,” she says.
Read more from Gloria Feldt on motherhood penalty
Establishing boundaries and shortcuts to what needs to be done is key, as is streamlining priorities.
“Younger women in their 30s and 40s are much more savvy about setting ground rules early as well as having frank and open discussions” with co-parenting partners, says Lublin, whose first book was Earning It: Hard-Won Lessons From Trailblazing Women at The Top Of The Business World.
The first wave of power moms, Lublin says, found that they became an asset to their daughters as they became mothers in the workforce. Lublin herself negotiated a four-day workweek at the Wall Street Journal, after initially having the option rejected.
“We are all being pulled in so many directions,” says Lublin, referring to roles extending from childcare to eldercare and all the emergencies in between. Her advice is to pay it forward to support other women and to choose your workplace wisely.
““We are all being pulled in so many directions,” says @JoannLublin, referring to roles extending from #childcare to eldercare and all the emergencies in between. Her advice is to pay it forward to support other women and to choose your #workplace wisely.”
In their new book, Wise Decisions: A Science-Based Approach To Making Better Choices, authors Dr. Jim Loehr and Dr. Sheila Ohlsson Walker assert that you are your own wise Y.O.D.A., and that stands for your own decision maker. As stress is a constant in many lives, and particularly with working parents, the authors suggest ways to shift mindsets.
“The mindset that every storm of stress can be leveraged to grow our decision-making proficiency represents a game changer for nearly everyone,” Loehr and Ohlsson Walker write.
Loehr is a performance psychologist, Co-Founder of the Human Performance Institute and author of 16 books. Ohlsson Walker is a Senior Scientist at the Institute for Applied Research in Youth Development at Tufts University and a Visiting Assistant Professor at the Johns Hopkins University School of Education.
The authors dive into the narratives of parenting in their new book and highlight the need to redirect energy.
“A helpful way of thinking about stress and recovery is to conceptualize stress as simply energy expenditure and recovery as energy restoration and renewal,” they write.
““A helpful way of thinking about stress and recovery is to conceptualize #stress as simply energy expenditure and recovery as energy restoration and renewal,” write authors @DrSheilaOWalker and Dr. Jim Loehr in their new book, “Wise Decisions.””
Tactics to balance your energy, the authors write, include staying connected, seeking perspective and taking action on things you can control.
As a mother who is working to grow her career, there are many factors culturally and economically that they cannot control. So it is urgent to strategically use resources, skillsets, innovative systems and mentorship to create the career path they intend.
In a new 13-week live mastermind series launching March 23, Gloria Feldt, co-founder and president of Take The Lead, offers crucial insight into how to change an individual path and also to uplift colleagues. “Unpack implicit bias and turn its effects on its head,” Feldt advises. “You can make its effects your superpowers.”
“In a new 13-week live mastermind series launching March 23, @GloriaFeldt, co-founder and president of @Takeleadwomen, offers crucial insight into how to change an individual path and also to uplift colleagues. #leadershipcourse #womenleaders”
Learn more about the 13-week mastermind series, “Intentioning”
Implicit bias and discrimination are not new and are in full swing in many workplace cultures, with the pandemic only complicating and worsening their effects—particularly on mothers.
Jess Heagren, CEO and founder of That Works For Me, writes in Raconteur recently, “That Works For Me questioned 848 women nationwide about how their careers had gone once they’d become mothers. Their responses, published in our Careers After Babies report, were deeply concerning to me – and they should also be to employers.”
Heagren writes, “Although 98% of the respondents stated that they wanted to return to work after becoming mothers, 85% reported that they’d left full-time employment within three years of having children.”
What can rectify the resignation trend, perhaps is networking, support and open conversations.
“Implicit #bias and discrimination are not new and are in full swing in many #workplace #cultures, with the pandemic only complicating and worsening their effects—particularly on mothers. ”
“Female business leaders should talk openly about their children. These role models and mentors can play a key part in showing others that it’s possible to return from maternity leave and resume a successful career. When women in senior positions say that they’re working around school pick-up times, for instance, that can send a powerful message to others in the business,” Heagren writes.
Licensed family and marriage therapist Rachel Diamond writes in Psychology Today, “Working mothers make up a significant part of the labor force. According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, in 2021 there was a working mother in about 71 percent of families with children under the age of 18.”
What is often called The Motherhood Penalty is affecting many of them, she writes. But it is something that can be challenged and needs to be reshaped.
“Data also shows that similar rates (roughly half) of mothers and fathers report that working makes it difficult for them to be good parents. However, mothers are more likely than fathers to report that being a working parent also makes it harder to advance in their careers.”
Lublin has suggestions for parents of all ages on making the arenas of work and home more fair—and accessible to comfortable swaying.
“We need to reduce working mother guilt. We need to look at our lives as half full and see we are all imperfect.”
Take The Lead Leadership Takeaway:
“The biggest way to reduce stress levels as parents is to rethink gendered role expectations.”
Joann Lublin, author of Power Moms.
