The Power To Build Connection Across Differences Through Storytelling
Esther Choy is CEO and Chief Story Facilitator at Leadership StoryLab.
By Esther Choy
.After the election, I was in a discussion group where the leader wanted to create space for people to share their feelings. The leader assumed that everyone was feeling devastated. Anyone who may have felt differently faced a higher barrier to share authentically. Finally, one person expressed he felt exasperated by the whole thing. He didn’t vote, and he didn’t want to hear anymore about it. No one knew how to respond to his outburst.
As leaders, we set the tone by our words and our actions. I see this every day in the work I do to train business leaders to tell stories and draw stories out of the people around them. One thing I’ve learned through working with all these different groups is that you can never assume you know what other people are thinking. Doing so can lead to confusion, frustration or broken trust. And during fraught times, the stakes are even higher.
To encourage civil workplaces, leaders must role model the behavior they want to see. This involves leaders telling their stories last, and focusing on drawing out the stories and perspectives of their team members. Here’s some key behaviors leaders can use to model civility.
Be Curious. Don't assume you know what others think or believe.
Ask questions to understand. Listen, really listen.
When emotions are high, it’s challenging to avoid shutting down or dismissing people with different points of view, but strive to find connection through open-ended questions.
Explicitly set expectations for respectful behavior. Modeling respect and curiosity needs to be done in concert with consistent verbal expressions of the expectations.
The most powerful stories often come from challenging, emotional situations, and leaning into that discomfort can lead to greater understanding, and more stories.
Esther Choy is CEO and Chief Story Facilitator at Leadership StoryLab. https://www.facebook.com/leadershipstorylab; https://www.instagram.com/leadershipstorylab/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/estherchoy/ ; https://www.leadershipstorylab.com/