Lonely at Work? 5 Tips To Address What Most Women Say Is A Problem
More than 80% of women report they feel lonely at work.
It is possible to be lonely even when you are not alone.
Unfortunately, new research shows that 80% of women in white collar jobs feel lonely because of their work. That shocking number is exacerbated for women of color, as loneliness is compounded by bias and discrimination in the workplace. Nearly a third of women of color say they do not feel respected at work—compounding their sense of isolation.
“New research shows that 80% of women in white collar jobs feel lonely because of their work. #mentalhealth”
It is especially crucial to examine the problem—and solutions— as May is Mental Health Awareness Month.
This new data from The Li.st, Berlin Cameron and BSG, also shows that it is a generational problem, with 86% of workers ages 18 to 34 saying they feel lonely at work, compared to 76& of workers 35 and older.
In all, 41% of women report that work is the loneliest time of day and 70% say they feel unsupported at work. More than half, or 51% feel isolated and 40% of women in senior level positions say the demands at work are unreasonable.
Read more in Take The Lead on mental health at work
The Li.st CEO Ann Shoket tells Fast Company, “We heard from people that they are isolated, unsupported. They feel like their companies don’t want to help them succeed.”
The difficulties with loneliness and a distinct sense of not belonging or being heard by many employees who identify as female is not strictly attributable to complications from COVID and remote or hybrid work.
Even if it seems that working alone at home is what prompts these feelings of loneliness, many organizations are back in person and work cultures remain unsupportive. Some say that remote work can offer social connections virtually.
Read more from Gloria Feldt on intentioning to combat loneliness
A lack of trust in leadership or colleagues also contributes to the rise in loneliness in the workplace.
“A lack of trust in #leadership or colleagues also contributes to the rise in loneliness in the #workplace. ”
A recent TELUS Mental Health Index reveals 45% of workers under 40 don't trust people at work, according to the Safety Magazine. “The study echoes a growing concern highlighted by the World Health Organization (WHO), which now equates the effects of loneliness to well-known health risks such as smoking and obesity. With workers under 40 being hit the hardest, factors like eroding social support, economic instability, and disruptions caused by the pandemic compound the issue.”
HR magazine reports, Paula Allen, senior vice-president of research and total wellbeing at Telus Health, says, “Without trust, an individual is more likely to experience anxiety, and there is a lack of social support to manage stress. This can lead to increased feelings of loneliness and isolation, even with frequent social interaction.”
Imagine sitting at your desk all day, working on a laptop, saying very little to co-workers or not engaging directly with clients or customers. And while many meetings can be tedious, not being included in meetings can create a lack of trust in leadership and a sense of not belonging.
“Not being included in meetings can create a lack of trust in #leadership and a sense of not belonging. #workplaceculture”
Read more in Take The Lead on remote work and loneliness
Organizational psychologist Constance Noonan Hadley writes in Harvard Business Review, “Without a new approach to facilitating relationships at work, employee isolation and disconnection will continue to grow — regardless of whether people are back in the office.”
Some jobs are lonelier than others, even if there is contention that it is loneliest at the top. A new study by Solitaired reveals “the loneliest role is a Task Associate, which is a job that usually requires restocking shelves at stores. What’s more, this role can be customer or people-facing, but the social interactions are usually brief, surface level and transactional. Rounding out the rest of the list of most lonely jobs are Senior Paralegal, Manual Machinist, Field Sales Representative and Corporate Paralegal,” Essence reports.
The lack of human-to-human connection is also exacerbated by the introduction of AI systems, replacing the human touch.
“The lack of human-to-human connection is also exacerbated by the introduction of #AI systems, replacing the human touch. #loneliness”
“Employees who frequently interact with artificial intelligence systems are more likely to experience loneliness that can lead to insomnia and increased after-work drinking,” according to research published by the American Psychological Association.
There are both physical and mental health compromises implicated when loneliness is a long-term consequence of an isolating, non-inclusive work culture. The outcomes of colleagues feeling this way is not just personal, it is business.
Read more in Take The Lead on stress at work for Black women due to loneliness
“This is worrisome for employers as workplace loneliness is known to hamper employees' performance, morale, and commitment to the work and workplace, besides other deadly outcomes,” Forbes India reports.
“Transient loneliness, if not fixed, may lead to chronic levels of loneliness, leading to severe psychological and psychological poor outcomes. For example, loneliness may take the form of severe anxiety and depression. It also induces cardiovascular diseases and hormonal imbalances.”
Loneliness is not new in the workplace, but has been increasing for generations. According to 2020 research by Cigna, two out of three working adults categorize themselves as lonely. Cigna estimates that this is 97 million workers and that the economic cost to the country is $406 billion in low productivity and lost work days.
“#Loneliness is not new in the #workplace, but has been increasing for generations. ”
“Lonely workers had significantly higher rates of stress-related absenteeism,” says Anne Bowers, a senior health-services researcher with Cigna. “They missed more than five additional work days per year than workers who are not lonely. They were twice as likely to report intention of quitting their jobs in the next twelve months,” Marketplace reports.
“We found that loneliness cost employers approximately $154 billion annually, substantially contributes to worker job-withdrawal and has negative implications for organizational effectiveness and costs,” Bowers says.
Read about student digital loneliness in Take The Lead
So what is the answer? Throw a party in the office? Demand every worker play golf together? Here are five suggestions.
Make it real. Genuine engagement with colleagues and transparency in leadership about goals to increase engagement and a sense of value and belonging are essential, as well as opportunities to network inside and outside of the organization. Hold a staff meeting to throw out suggestions to improve belonging and collegiality.
Choose for yourself. You can also control interactions you choose to have. Greet co-workers and make conversation that is beyond superficial. Seek out colleagues who may be shy and ask questions about how they are doing.
“ Seek out colleagues who may be shy and ask questions about how they are doing. #connection ”
Keep it 9-5. Try to steer clear of making connections about happy hours after work—knowing that many parents just can’t join. Try not to engage on the sanctity of weekends. Create perhaps an in-office book club where you rotate who decides what book to individually read each month and then meet for an at-work lunch to discuss. This also can work on zoom.
Build a suggestion box. Ask leadership to have available a suggestions box—literally or figuratively. It can be a simple closed container in the office to place anonymous or signed suggestions. Or there can be a regular survey sent out that guarantees no names assigned to the responses where colleagues can make specific suggestions for improvements—not just complaints.
Follow through. Offer a regular survey to ask how people are feeling and if there are specific actions and outcomes that are a result of suggestions. “Live in the solution, not the problem,” a friend recently told me.
“A more formal approach may work for you as well: schedule time into your calendar to make contact—it’s one of those items that might otherwise be put off forever,” Shopify reports.
“I designate time every single day to take a break from it all and connect,” says freelance content designer Josie Elfassy. “If I don’t, I just can’t focus, because I’m browsing through social media all day long, looking to fill that space.”
There are soon to be official remedies offered in New York state, thanks to Dr. Ruth Westheimer, 95, who was recently appointed by Governor Kathy Hochul New York’s Ambassador to Loneliness.
“@AskDrRuth, 95, was recently appointed by @GovKathyHochul as New York’s Ambassador to Loneliness. #mentalhealth”
“As New York works to fight the loneliness epidemic, some help from honorary Ambassador Ruth Westheimer may be just what the doctor ordered,” Hochul said in a statement.
Leadership Takeaway of the Week:
“We heard from people that they are isolated, unsupported. They feel like their companies don’t want to help them succeed.”
Ann Shoket, The Li.st CEO
