Be Unreasonable: Key Paths To Achieving Your Intentions in 2022

Rev. Dr. Theresa Thames, Associate Dean of Religious Life and The Chapel at Princeton University, spoke on a recent Women inPower panel at 92 Street Y with Gloria Feldt.

“Be unreasonable.”

Merriam Webster defines the adjective as “not governed by or acting according to reason,” or “exceeding the bounds of reason or moderation.”

For the highly successful and accomplished panelists at the recent Women inPower event through the 92 Street Y, practicing moderation and reason is not how they got to where they are.

“For the highly successful and accomplished panelists at the recent @92YWomeninPower event through @92Y, practicing moderation and reason is not how they got to where they are. #leadership #advocate”

“The point of being unreasonable is that all things are possible. The resources you need are there, if you have the wisdom to see it and the courage to use it. We are set back by doubts,” said Gloria Feldt, co-founder and president of Take The Lead, and one of the session’s panelists.

“Be unreasonable” is one of the tools in Intentioning: Sex, Power, Pandemics and How Women Will Take The Lead, the latest book from Feldt, former president and CEO of Planned Parenthood.

““Be unreasonable” is one of the tools in “Intentioning: Sex, Power, Pandemics and How Women Will Take The Lead,” the latest book from @GloriaFeldt, former president and CEO of @PPFA. #leadership #intentioning”

“If you are not unreasonable, you will not try to change something,” says Feldt.

Rev. Dr. Theresa Thames, Associate Dean of Religious Life and The Chapel at Princeton University, also a panelist, says that tool resonates deeply with her life and career.

“I am from Biloxi, Miss. In the Bible Belt little girls do not grow up to be pastors. I had a passion for serving and I did have clarity around achieving a senior position,” Thames explains. “Being a Black queer woman from Mississippi did not make me a candidate. But I show up unapologetic and unreasonable. I know if I did not get into the door, then people behind me would not get in the door.”

That determination resonates with Erika Stallings, writer, advocate, Associate General Counsel, Music Product at Meta and co-chair for the Associates Board for Volunteer Lawyers for the Arts.

“I am trying to build my muscle of being unreasonable and operate from a growth mindset, rather than scarcity,” says Stallings, a panelist for the webinar. She adds that growing up with a single mother and no safety net, she was the first person in her family to go to college. “I was operating from a place of fear.”

Not allowing fear to be a driving force is powerful, says Stallings, who serves as a mentor for Black women in leadership and an active advocate for Black women and genetic testing. “I do a lot of volunteer work. I’ve found that the worst thing is that they say no, and the best things is they say yes.”

Thames says there is a cost to being unreasonable.

“@TsThames says there is a cost to being unreasonable. “It will cost you either way. If you’re reasonable and go along, it will cost you something. If you’re unreasonable, you are underpaid and underrepresented; it costs you something. Or you can have your voice valued.” #leadership #advice”

“It will cost you either way. If you’re reasonable and go along, it will cost you something. If you’re unreasonable, you are underpaid and underrepresented; it costs you something. Or you can have your voice valued.”

Having all voices in the workplace valued involves addressing implicit bias and focusing on changing the workplace environment. Positively changing a work culture also takes intentioning and a great deal of courage, says Feldt, who advises that “the more you try, the more you build those courage muscles, and learn how to make your case.”

“Positively changing a #workplace #culture takes #intentioning and a great deal of courage, says @GloriaFeldt, who advises that “the more you try, the more you build those courage muscles, and learn how to make your case.””

And while titles and positions are finite, Feldt says, “There is an infinite pie of power and the more you share it, the more you have.”

The realities of age, race, gender and orientation bias often land on Black women in the workplace.

“I am unapologetically Black and engage in healthy conflict. Being pressured into assimilation robs us of being able to show up,” says Thames, who is the only Black woman in her department at Princeton.

““I am unapologetically Black and engage in healthy conflict. Being pressured into assimilation robs us of being able to show up,” says @TsThames who is the only Black woman in her department at @Princeton. #BlackWomen #Leaders”

“Why do organizations stay white?” Stallings asks. Leaders need to see “what are the things in your organization that may recreate patterns. Where do you hire from and how do you conduct your review process?”

It is also crucial to see who in the organization holds the power. “That is the uncomfortable question,” Stallings says. Often, “when women of color gain confidence it is not in a negative way, but it morphs into a threat.” Stallings says in her early years as an attorney in private firms, her hiring was seen as “doing her a favor,” rather than acknowledging the value she brings.

“Systems can gaslight them,” Thames says. “You have to be intentional about how to further this for everyone.”

There needs to be intentional systems to change leadership, Feldt says. “We need to embrace power in a new way with confidence, authenticity and joy.” She adds, “But the next question is the power to what? What good does it do to have power if we are using it to change systems that were oppressive to us.”

In its most recent global report on talent trends, LinkedIn states that flexible work schedules, inclusivity and work-life balance are the top three priorities for workers in their employment choices. One of the most important priorities for people looking at where they work or want to work is “colleagues and culture.” An inclusive and fair workplace culture is a main driver in the “Great Reshuffle.”

“In its most recent global report on #talenttrends, @LinkedIn states that flexible work schedules, #inclusivity and work-life balance are the top three priorities for workers in their employment choices. #workplaceculture ”

This is not a minor consideration for organizations, companies and leaders. While quit rates in this country recently decreased in 12 states and increased in one state in October 2021, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reports that more than 4.1 million people quit their jobs in October alone.

According to The Lily, “Women have been leaving the workforce in disproportionate numbers throughout the pandemic. Since February 2020, 1.3 million mothers between 25 and 54 left the workforce, according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s September 2021 Current Population Survey.”

It is not just the logistics of working in a pandemic—remote work, lack of childcare—that are untenable for many women. The Lily reports, “Some who can leave their jobs describe situations that may have been precarious to begin with, and then progressed into being untenable. It’s not just financial or caregiving concerns; many women who left jobs described situations that felt dehumanizing.”

So retaining and attracting talented personnel is crucial for organizations across all industries. That means many organizations and leaders need to address how they will change the workplace culture, be more fair and inclusive and make way for women to move into leadership.

“Retaining and attracting talented personnel is crucial for organizations across all industries. That means many organizations and leaders need to address how they will change the #workplaceculture, be more fair and inclusive and make way for women to move into #leadership. ”

Jennefer Witter, CEO and founder of The Boreland Group, author and member of the advisory board for Women inPower, serving as moderator for the webinar, says that one way to ensure systemic change is to “leverage social capital.” In Feldt’s new book, “Build Social Capital First” is a key tool of Intentioning.

For herself, Thames says, the Women inPower group was “a game changer. The conversation shifted as it raised the floor and removed the ceiling.”

Stallings says that her best networking tip is to “be curious about other people and be helpful. In your relationships, you have withdrawals and deposits. You have to deposit in the account before you can withdraw.”    

“Stallings, @Quidditch424, says that her best #networking #tip is to “be curious about other people and be helpful. In your relationships, you have withdrawals and deposits. You have to deposit in the account before you can withdraw.”    ”