All Good: Are You Really As Good As You Think You Are?

Are you an opportunistic do-gooder or a genuine do-gooder?

This is not about Imposter Syndrome, performance reviews or career aspirations. This is about deciding the authenticity of your motivations, how you are as a person and how you behave toward others. Do you do good works just so people see them or just because it will help someone?

Lofty resolutions aside, this is the perfect time for you to inquire if you are as kind and generous a person as you want to be, or if you do good works for the Instagram likes. This is about the image you have for yourself as someone who does good in the world aligning with reality.

As the country observes Martin Luther King Jr. Day this week, it is also important to acknowledge and observe a question Dr. King asked in 1957 of an audience in Montogomery, Ala.: "Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?' "

“Lofty resolutions aside, this is the perfect time for you to inquire if you are as kind and generous a person as you want to be, or if you do good works for the Instagram likes. #kindness #newyear”

As leaders across all industries and fields set about implementing their 2022 strategic plans, perhaps it is time to take a look at your own strategic plan on doing good in the world. And what does that even mean?

“On #MLKDay, acknowledge and ask yourself what Dr. King asked in a 1957 speech in Montgomery. AL:: “Life’s most persistent and urgent question is, ‘What are you doing for others?””

PsychTests.com analyzed data from more than 12,000 people who took the Emotional Intelligence Test, and found a delineation into two broad groups: Opportunistic Do-gooders and Genuine Do-gooders. As you can probably discern, the opportunistic group was likely doing good to get noticed, or advance themselves. The genuine group didn’t care who noticed.

“Committing acts of kindness for less than honorable motives is nothing new, but the reasoning behind it isn’t always straightforward,” explains Dr. Ilona Jerabek, president of PsychTests.

“With the dawn of so-called ‘influencers,’ altruism has lost some of its shine; a small percentage of people are much more motivated to be kind for the acclaim and ‘likes’ rather than the satisfaction of making someone’s life better. That doesn’t necessarily make the act of generosity worthless, but it certainly leaves a slightly bitter taste in your mouth when you see it,” Jerabek says.

““With the dawn of so-called ‘influencers,’ #altruism has lost some of its shine; a small percentage of people are much more motivated to be kind for the acclaim and ‘likes’ rather than the satisfaction of making someone’s life better.”—@Ila_jer, president of PsychTests.com. ”

Read more in Take The Lead on women in philanthropy

Other key findings in the large study were that 62% of opportunistic do-gooders believe that “the end justifies the means,” as compared to 30% of genuine do-gooders. More than a third, or 31% of the opportunistic group report that cheating or lying is only wrong if a person gets caught, while just 5% of genuine do-gooders felt that way.

Almost half, or 49% of the opportunistic group said that using insincere flattery is justifiable, compared to 14% of genuine do-gooders. Pretending to be good is also a career boost, even if you are not, says the opportunistic group, as 46% feel that in order to get ahead, you have to "step on a few toes," compared to 13% of genuine do-gooders.

And if you are wondering who your real friends are, maybe the opportunistic group is not a good barometer of your likability, as 16% of the opportunistic group would rather have fake but powerful friends instead of non-influential but real friends. This compares to 3% of genuine do-gooders.

Read more from Gloria Feldt on women in philanthropy

When it comes to success, the opportunistic group is about the trappings, not the real things. A reported 54% would rather live a life of success than live a life according to their values, compared to 22% of genuine do-gooders. It might also make sense then that only half, or 50% of opportunistic do-gooders lack a sense of purpose and feel directionless, compared to 16% of genuine do-gooders. So that may be the good news.

“Are you an opportunistic do-gooder or a genuine do-gooder? A reported 54% of opportunistic do-gooders would rather live a life of success than live a life according to their values, compared to 22% of genuine do-gooders. #selfimprovement #decisionmaking ”

You can take the Emotional Intelligence Test here.

Praise is a motivator for the opportunistic group, as 46% do not experience a sense of personal satisfaction after an achievement, they’re only happy when they receive praise from other people. This compares to 8% of genuine do-gooders.

Opportunistic do-gooders are also chameleons as 43% change themselves, their beliefs, opinions, appearance, behavior, in order to please others. Only 13% of genuine do-gooders report the same.

Many people may know or work with or for the opportunistic group, who are performing philanthropy and altruism. And many may be questioning their own motives.  

Read more in Take The Lead on women doing good

“If you want to show compassion and generosity to others, do so to your heart’s content. However, if you feel the need to show it off, ask yourself why. Does it stem from a desire to inspire others to pay it forward, or is it a way to boost your sense of self-worth, as our study alludes to? If it’s the latter, then perhaps it is time to give yourself more love and appreciation. You can’t fill a feeling of emptiness with Instagram likes,.” Jerabek says.

It is undeniable that women are a force for good globally and are doing more work now than ever, from individual start-up organizations to large corporate endeavors.

“It is undeniable that women are a force for good globally and are doing more work now than ever, from individual start-up organizations to large corporate endeavors. #womenlead #strongwomen”

“Over the past two decades, the giving circle movement in the United States has grown to more than 2,000 giving circles made up of 150,000 people helping to donate nearly $1.3 billion,” according to the Stanford Social Innovation Review.

“Giving circles are a unique collective giving model, where individuals gather, they discuss their values, and issues in the community, then pool their dollars and collectively decide where to give the funds,” says Sara Lomelin, CEO of Philanthropy Together and former Senior Director of Leadership Philanthropy at Accion Opportunity Fund, and VP of Philanthropy at the Latino Community Foundation, where she created the Latino Giving Circle Network.

Lomelin tells SSIR, “But it doesn’t stop there. Giving circles engage beyond the dollars by giving their time, their talent, their testimony, and ties to the organizations and causes that they support.”

Lomelin writes recently in Ms. Magazine with co-author, Asha Curran, “During the first part of this pandemic, when many were getting by on less, Americans came together to support one another with unprecedented acts of generosity and solidarity, including increasing donations to nonprofit organizations. Giving in 2020 increased by an estimated 5.2 percent, compared to 2019, and we expect the trend to continue when the final tally comes in for 2021. This is especially good news, as it reverses a decades-long decline in giving by ‘everyday’ donors, where less than half of U.S. households donated to charity in 2018—down from two-thirds in 2000.”

““Giving in 2020 increased by an estimated 5.2 percent, compared to 2019, and we expect the trend to continue when the final tally comes in for 2021.”— @Sarilomvel, CEO of @Phil_together and @RadioFreeAsha, CEO of @GivingTuesday for @MsMagazine. #womenleaders”

Yes, there are people who do good sincerely and authentically because it is who they are. Cynically speaking, there are also people who are performing goodness for a host of reasons.

“Yes, there are people who do good sincerely and authentically because it is who they are. Cynically speaking, there are also people who are performing goodness for a host of reasons. #personalgrowth #development ”

The Atlantic recently reports that Wendy Wood, “In her book Good Habit, Bad Habit, explains that for the latter half of the 20th century, psychological scholarship more or less affirmed its righteousness. Attitude leads behavior, the theory went, and the circumstances in which you exist aren’t that important to the choices you make. Individuals do certain things and not others mostly because of their own conscious decisions; your fate is largely in your own hands.”

You can decide to be a better person, and so become one.

Wood tells The Atlantic that “forming new long-term behavioral patterns is possible to some extent for most people, and it’s largely a function of learning to do something so automatically that you perform the task without having to consciously decide to do it, like brushing your teeth before you go to bed.”

The point is to do good works even when no one is watching.  

“You can decide to be a better person, and so become one. The point is to do good works even when no one is watching. #lifegoals #motivation #personalgrowth”