The Power in Redefining Family
By Luna Ranjit
Luna Ranjit is a strategy consultant, essayist and poet.
In early September, my husband and I flew out of Kathmandu airport, six months later than planned due to the pandemic.
After 24-hours of remaining masked non-stop on planes and airports, we came back to New York to a refrigerator filled with breakfast foods and a delivery of home-cooked meals the next day.
From one home to another, we were where our friends have become family. We have "siblings and niblings of heart" across the country, and around the world.
Our expansive family, however, does not include biological children - a decision made early in our relationship.
When we decided to remain child-free 15 years ago, we embarked on a lonely, peerless journey.
Our child-free status has been seen as a free pass to question, advise, and preach about joys of parenting, by family, friends, casual acquaintances, and even strangers. After one particular incident where being childless overshadowed all my accomplishments, I started writing to move through my anger and sadness. But for almost four years, I did not have the courage to share it widely.
Luna and her shadow portrait.
Earlier this year, conversation with some friends in Kathmandu convinced me to release it into the world, and write a Nepali version as well.
I knew it was a story that had not been told publicly in Nepal, but I had not expected it to hit a nerve everywhere. A few thousand people read it, and hundreds of them shared their own experiences publicly and in private. The story became more than just about remaining child-free, but making life choices that defy the norms.
Back in New York, another encounter again reminded me that I had to keep repeating this story. Publicly sharing our very private decision has given me power to redefine and celebrate “family” in all the diverse ways people are forging relationships.
Luna Ranjit writes essays and poems, and works as a strategy consultant for social justice organizations. She co-founded the New York Healthy Nail Salons Coalition promoting the rights of nail salon workers, and Adhikaar, a nonprofit building power of new immigrant communities.
She blogs at: https://lunaranjit.medium.com Sign up for her sporadic email newsletter: https://tinyletter.com/LunaRanjit; Twitter: @LunaRanjit https://lunaranjit.com/ https://lunaranjit.medium.com/
““Publicly sharing our very private decision has given me power to redefine and celebrate “family” in all the #diverse ways people are forging relationships”—@Lunaranjit. #PowerToChangeStories #womenleaders”