The Power to Give Back In The Face of Tragedy
By Michelle Valiukenas
Michelle Valiukenas is co-founder and executive director of a nonprofit in Chicago created in honor of her daughter. .
In May 2018, I experienced an unimaginable pain. My daughter Colette died at nine days old.
With all the outpouring of love, I also saw the shame and hurt with quiet disclosures of others' losses. I could tell how those losses shaped them, even more so given secretiveness.
But, I felt differently. Colette was still my daughter, I was going to talk about her and people had to adjust or be cut out of my life. Plus, I wanted people to know her, to feel her impact, her memory, to say her name.
Knowing that I had to do something, I quit my job and dedicated myself to The Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation, launched in September 2018. If I could not parent Colette in the way I had expected, I could parent her this way.
We provide financial assistance to families in crisis due to high-risk or complicated pregnancies, NICU stays, or loss. To date, we have helped over 510 families in 38 states and granted more than $600,000.
In the beginning, it was hard to imagine impact beyond writing a check. But, as clients came back to share updates, I realized something. Yes, the financial help changed lives, but more than anything, the work I was doing was saying to a parent, I see you, I feel your pain and stress and worry, and I support you.
We need to do better for moms and babies. The U.S. maternal mortality rate is shocking and disappointing. The number of babies who die in pregnancy, at birth, or in the immediacy, is staggering.
But, above all, we need to believe, trust, and respect moms. That will be my mission for the remainder of my life. And that I hope that is a legacy that Colette will be proud of.
Michelle Valiukenas is a Co-Founder and Executive Director of The Colette Louise Tisdahl Foundation, in Chicago. https://www.twitter.com/thetisdahl @thetisdahl https://www.facebook.com/colettetisdahl; https://www.instagram.com/colettelouisetisdahlL https://www.linkedin.com/company/the-colette-louise-tisdahl-foundationps:// https://www.colettelouise.com
““Yes, the financial help changed lives, but more than anything, the work I was doing was saying to a parent, I see you, I feel your pain and stress and worry, and I support you.”—Michelle Valiukenas @thetisdahl #PowerToChangeStories @takeleadwomen”