Open Letter to My Daughters
By Michelle Kinder
Michelle Kinder is an author, licensed professional counselor, faculty at Stagen Leadership Academy, former executive director and mother of two.
Our daughter, Maya, begins college this month, 1,500 miles from home amid a pandemic. I have been thinking about Maya and her sister, Sophia, and what they, and their generation, have to offer our troubled world.
Dear Maya and Sophia,
I see ways your generation leads differently than we have. I see clarity in your eyes about what is right and wrong. You embody inclusivity. You protect people’s rights to be who they are. Difference doesn’t scare you; it enlivens you. You save the shaming for the small-minded, not the large-living. I’m not sure we have much to teach you.
That said, here are three lessons I’ve learned about being a female leader:
1. Take up space, speak your mind, don’t apologize for your opinions. Understand that some will take it personally when you veer from their thinking. Let it be. Stay focused on what is yours to do.
2. Make space for other women—especially women of color. Whatever headwinds you face as a female leader are multiplied many times over for women of color. Notice who is and isn’t at any given table, and don’t be shy about spending your social or political capital toward the end of justice and equity.
Michelle Kinder’s daughters Maya (left) and Sophia.
3. Keep learning and question what you think you know. Set the goal of being so actively engaged in your own growth that each year you look at the last version of yourself and shake your head a little. Do it with kindness and self-compassion, but don’t let yourself off the hook.
I’m not sure what life has in store for you. You are grounded, interesting thinkers driven by compassion and empathy, and I am sure we need more of that. Go get ‘em.
Love,
Mom
Michelle Kinder advises her daughters, Sophia (left) and Maya, about their own power to change the world.
Michelle Kinder is co-author of "WHOLE: What Teachers Need to Help Students Thrive," a licensed professional counselor, on faculty at the Stagen Leadership Academy, former executive director of Momentous Institute, and a Public Voices Fellow through The OpEd Project.
@michellebkinder https://www.facebook.com/michelle.b.kinder https://www.linkedin.com/in/michelle-kinder-2a64788/ www.michellekinder.com
““Set the goal of being so actively engaged in your own growth that each year you look at the last version of yourself and shake your head a little.”—@Michellebkinder, author and counselor. #PowertoChangeStories”