Don’t Ask To Pick My Brain: 6 Networking Tips From Fairygodboss Co-Founder
Romy Newman (left), co-founder, and Georgene Huang, co-founder and CEO of Fairygodboss, launched Fairygodboss Groups.
Georgene Huang, CEO and Co-founder of Fairygodboss, says that a decade ago networking was about attending events and talking to as many people as you could in one space.
Today you need strategies and support, taking advantage of online mechanisms and virtual connections.
“In the modern world of #networking you need strategies and support, taking advantage of online mechanisms and virtual connections. ”
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This is why Fairygodboss, the largest free career community group of 3 million individuals per month reaching a total of 40 million women, and more than 130 corporate partners, recently launched Fairygodboss Groups.
“@Fairygodboss, the largest free #career community group of 3 million individuals per month, recently launched Fairygodboss Groups. #Connect”
“The Internet has disrupted how networking happens,” says Huang, who founded Fairygodboss in 2015 with co-founder Romy Newman.
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According to Refinery 29, “Research from Ellevate Network shows in a recent poll, 55% of women still thought we need to increase our efforts to support each other. Plus, 29% of respondents said that there could be more collaboration vs. competing between women, and 27% thought that we could all be networking and making more formal recommendations.”
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Inga Carboni, professor at William and Mary’s Mason School of Business and author of Connect the Dots, tells Harvard Business Review, “A strong network is more than just boundary spanning, and there were other aspects of that that emerged from the research, but boundary spanning is an important part. If you are connecting to those diverse pockets of the organization or the industry, you’re getting slightly different perspectives on the work that you’re doing and the problem domains that you’re involved with, and those different diverse perspectives make you more able to see a problem holistically, to maybe make a higher-quality decision. You also are in touch with new information. You’re getting new perspectives all the time, so you’re hearing new things.”
Carboni adds, “Research goes back, say, decades on the value of this position, and we know that people who have more boundary spanning in their networks, they get more job opportunities. They get promoted faster. They make more money. They’re more likely to be involved in innovation. They’re more likely to be tapped as top talent. It’s a big differentiator when it comes to performance.”
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At Fairygodboss, the initial 80 groups designed for each career phase from early career to C-suite are free to join and offer group chats to meet the needs of women at every step of their career.
“At @Fairygodboss, the initial 80 groups designed for each career phase, from early career to C-suite, are free to join and offer group chats to meet the needs of every woman. #CareerSupport”
“More relevant in early career with no experience is a common thread focusing on how you got your last job,” Huang says. “There is exploration to understand different career paths, job types or whether to go back to get a graduate degree.”
She adds, “More seasoned, you are networking for a reason that is different than just getting a job. One of the things I didn’t know how to do was manage maternity leave and returning to work.” Understanding and managing that transition is key in mid-career.
Now a co-founder and a CEO, Huang says her needs are different as a C-suite member. She is networking to figure out how to manage an organization as a founder.
In FGB Groups, which can be designated as public or private, every member can post anonymously and it can lead to deeper relationships and sharing over professional tips, lifestyle and interests. There’s even a group for golfers.
“In @Fairygodboss groups, every member can post anonymously. It can lead to deeper relationships and sharing over #ProfessionalTips, lifestyle and interests. #CareerHelp”
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Is it possible to go about networking the wrong way? Huang says yes, and offers these caveats for anyone launching into networking and hoping to reap the benefits, as well as to give back.
“Is it possible to go about #networking the wrong way? @GeorgeneHuang says yes. #CareerAdvice”
‘Tis better to give than receive. “The best way to do it is when you don’t need to do it. The reason is you are always better off to give than to need an ask,” Huang says.
Be specific about a request. Perhaps someone asks you for time to “pick your brain,” without a specific ask or a connection. “I think you can’t expect a person to reasonably respond to that. That’s not networking, that’s charity. You should help whenever possible, but you can’t expect someone to return a cold email. The pick your brain ask is not a helpful way to approach someone.”
“Be specific about a request. Perhaps someone asks you for time to “pick your brain,” without a specific ask. “That’s not #networking, that’s charity,” @GeorgeneHuang says. ”
Do initial research. “If you are conscientious, you can find so many answers online.” You don’t want to waste someone’s time and expect them to give you all the relevant background on an issue, field, organization or strategy.
Find the groups where you have professional affinity. “Joining the right group is a big part of the battle. Search and fill out a profile, we recommend groups. Our recommendations are only as good as what you tell us.”
“Find the groups where you have professional affinity. @GeorgeneHuang says, “Joining the right group is a big part of the battle.””
Be considerate of the people who are willing to help. “These are special gems women drawn to helping other women, so a show of gratitude goes a long way. Be respectful of other people and in showing your emotional intelligence.”
Follow up. “Women get advice and then they never say if they took any of it. (The mentor) will want to know if you had that conversation. Close the loop when someone helps you.”
“#FollowUp. “Women get advice and then they never say if they took any of it. (The mentor) will want to know if you had that conversation.” #NetworkingTips”
Networking is different for women, Huang says. It is about navigating the power infrastructure, which is still mostly white and male.
“#Networking is different for women, @GeorgeneHuang says. It is about navigating the #power infrastructure, which is still mostly white and male. ”
“I’ve constantly had to network with men and I have to go out of my way to find these people as they are not naturally in my social circles,” says Huang, who seeks networking with CEOS and founders of startups.
“I am always one of a few women and I am conscious of it and how I have to build relationships with those whom I may not have many things in common with,” Huang says.
The pick your brain concept is something that film industry giant Ava DuVernay told the Film Independent Forum in 2013 is antithetical to success, in an often quoted speech.
She says, “I often meet people who ask,“Can you help me?” or “How do I do this?” or “Do you want to have coffee?” “Can I take you to coffee?” “Can we grab a coffee?” “I’d love to take you to coffee and pick your brain a little bit.” “Can I send you a script?” “Can you read my script?” “I have a script that I’d love for you to just check out if you can.” “Can you be my mentor?” “I need a mentor.” “I would love if you could mentor me.” “Is it possible for us to talk?” All of that energy, all of that focus to extract from other people is distracting you from what you’re doing. All of that is desperation.”
DuVernay adds, “All of the time you’re spending trying to get someone to mentor you, trying to have a coffee…all the time you’re focusing on trying to grab, you’re being desperate and you’re not doing. You have to be doing something. Because all of the so-called action that you’re doing is hinging on someone doing something for you.”
It is mindful networking that is a key strategy in success for women, Carboni notes.
“It is mindful #networking that is a key strategy in success for women, Carboni notes. #NetworkWithPurpose ”
“Successful women also put a lot more structure in their day, so they weren’t constantly in reactive mode. They set aside, for instance, time for reflection. And that’s really important time. That’s the time when you’re strategizing, when you are envisioning new things, when you’re managing your network and reaching out to relationships that you maybe lost contact with, and women were just not as good at that. But the successful women put in that time for reflection. They were better at seeding relationships, so connecting with people long in advance of actually needing a relationship, and that led to when they actually needed help, or they wanted to take requests to them and suggest that somebody else might be a better person to talk to, they had those available to them.”
This is where Fairygodboss Groups may help. Even if it is a group on gardening, or sharing “horror stories,” commonality of experience and the wisdom of the hive mind helps. The groups are intentional and deliberate.
“Even if it is a group on gardening, or sharing “horror stories,” commonality of experience and the #wisdom of the hive mind helps. #FindYourGroup”
Just remember, Huang says, “The biggest mistake is not following up. It is amazing how often that happens. Just say how it went.”
“Just remember, @GeorgeneHuang says, “The biggest mistake is not following up. It is amazing how often that happens.” #Networking #WorkAdvice”
